Stay Thirsty! Stay Famished!- Waterbottle Exaggeration

Stay Thirsty! Stay Famished!- Waterbottle Exaggeration

Read  Part I before you continue...

My great chemistry teacher once said – “You may answer many how's and what's but you cannot answer many why's!” So this is a difficult thing to proceed and especially with a taboo topic (even within couples). I have to come up with a reverse allegorical exaggeration to explain few everyday seconds in our human lives by using water and bottles.

            Imagine you ate huge amounts of salt and you slowly become thirsty. You are dry-thirsty, your tongues are cracking, you are panting and you can feel the dusty dryness on your throats and you do not drink water. Once you are thirsty, people give you a bottle full of water and ask you to carry it around but you are forbidden from drinking from it or any water for that matter. You follow this rule, not for few minutes, few hours, days, weeks or months but for years at least a decade. You only do empty swallows merely imagining you are drinking from a waterfall for the next 15 years. You’ve been brought up to believe that drinking water before marriage without a life partner is the worst thing in life. You too choose this suffering in the hope that when you actually get to drink the water with your partner both can enjoy it together without limits. But do not forget that you are thirsty every second of every hour, every day for more than a decade.

            But that is not the only pain you have to endure. People will start walking up to you and say – “You are selfish to want to drink water in the first place! Since it is a bad need / want that is unhealthy for this society.” You begin to wonder at this preaching and its validity all the while being thirsty. Just to revolt, you might entertain the idea of drinking the water with someone else but sooner you might wonder if my future water bottle partner would like the idea of me having drunk the water already. You debate about this problem within your mind your entire adolescent period (present v/s future) and unable to decide without knowing how your future water-sharer will react, you take a safe dangerous position – you remain THIRSTY.

            If this is not enough, society imposes more verbal rules as you grow –

a)     You are not allowed to talk about thirst. No questioning, nothing!

b)    You are not allowed to talk about drinking water either (without waiting for others) because that is not the fucking point of being thirsty

c)     You are not to mention about the thirst in a public place because suddenly all the thirsty people will blame they are actually not thirsty but you made them feel thirsty by mentioning either "thirst" or "water" or worse you “polluted” the whole environment with your water!

Once your questioning and speaking rights have been silenced, the philosophical folks jump in with their explanation for human thirst.

a)     Why cannot I drink water with anyone else who is thirsty? -> They will say it is not about your thirst / water but it’s about the availability limit of the water which makes us to come up with these rules.

b)    Sometimes they will say this is not ordinary water - if you drink it once your thirst may only increase more.

c)     If you drink it with more than one - it will contaminate the water and you may get a disease as well

Fine, you slowly outlast your thirst every day inch by inch and one day you find your pair (marriage!) with a water bottle. After so many such days of trying to figure a safe way to taste the water you suddenly end up with that one person who is authorized to relieve you of your thirst. If you are happy, meaning you are a good example of real life Mr. & Mrs. Focker, its fine! But what iffffff (just for some psychotic fun J)–

a)     Both of your bottles do not match in size (doesn’t matter whose is bigger)

b)    Your partner is not thirsty enough like you are. The partner needs just a sip and you’ve been thirsty for so long and so much thirsty that even a waterfall down your throat is not good enough

c)     Makes you feel guilty for being thirsty with the same reasons you’ve been brought up since your moment of puberty

d)    Brag to their friends about drinking water with you just twice a week. Shouldn’t it be a daily activity? an everyday chores for both of you? I hope there is a conversation like this one day between a husband and a wife after a fight -> Wife – “Don’t show your anger on food! Let’s eat.” Husband – “Don’t show your anger on water! Let’s drink :P”

e)     OR OR OR – both are so equally bloody thirsty and both your jug of water dries up!

What do you guys do when this is the norm? We search for answers wherever we find. We become multi-talented just to make us forget that thirst. We scare, fight, compete, invent, stay awake, pray and do a whole basket of nonsense to make ourselves forget the thirst which runs as an invisible thread process behind all our actions. We drool on like this for maybe couple of more decades and most of us will die without their thirst quenched for sustainable amount of time and still trying to safeguard the stupid jug of water for the moment we can drink it with the ONE.

We are fighting against the thirst, a millennia of un-evolving traditions, illogical non solution oriented society and of course an entire generation where even watching free flowing water is scarce and illegal compared to bottled overpriced packaged water which is illegal to possess in few regions of the world... even the places it is legal to possess you have the tradition of ONE to follow and the ONE may charge you very dearly for dreaming about water. Worse, half of them are not at all thirsty but after taking two sips with you, they say Look I had water for you and with you only so beware you stick to your ONE rule no matter how thirsty you are. After all this they are called as the side which sacrificed and men are the thirsty mindless heartless zombies. But you should know few of us don’t care about anything after a while and they just go ahead and drink water no matter the source and no matter the company. But many of us, just die of a thirst - a feeling by then we realize has neutralized our senses to urge us to drink, a forgotten feeling gone numb.

Women are oblivion to this sacrifice we make. Funnily no one seems to care about our thirst nor our sacrifice: D. Worse, slowly the water and thirst have been categorized into a guilty pleasure from a basic human need and if we do not wake up, who knows it might even be slowly turned into a legal punishable act of the severest kind (It is already so by my college rules!). It is been looked upon as a polluting commodity similar to a plastic bag that everyone uses but no one talks about and everyone wishes it decomposes sooner. Will the situation change if we convert this plastic into a multi useful, instant bio degradable, natural fertilizer and make it cheap? Will the controlling people let us do that? It is a wild guess!

But until then spare some thought for your poor husbands ;-). With a thirst similar to the sucking power of a blackhole, they show such a control on their feelings. They work, protect, serve, solve issues and sometimes help you out in kitchen as well and despite all this no songs are written by his kids for him but rather to his wife! You only see Mom songs and poems everywhere - माँ मेरी माँ प्यारी माँ Mumma OR காலையில் தினமும் கண் விழித்தாள் (I start my day with this song: p) Even then, he will fight with his kids stating –“my mom is better than your mom! Boo!” and starts dreaming about his MOM song (his dad is nowhere in his thoughts!)

Motherhood though is the greater gift for sure, has its limitations as well. I mean, men restrain their thirst with their controlling switch. Women too have a similar switch to switch ON/OFF love. Yes, women have the capability to love and care infinitely but under the blanket of motherhood you see most of them preserve this gift for their families ALONE and are obsessed about it. I mean women sometimes are so lost many times that they misuse their superpower to separate their husbands from his friends, parents, passion and duty to this society. They preserve and over care for their kids at the cost of others’ kids, families and lives. Their self-obsession has no limits (here self refers to her family). Is it the only way motherhood can be showered effectively and efficiently? I wish there are better examples in our lives.

At least at the end, I need to tell why men and women like sex so much? Here is a cool TED talk that gives you a simple and brilliant answer. Enjoy folks!

JinsopLee: Design for all 5 senses

In addition, how do guys value all the above things? Below is a summarized graphical representation of things I couldn’t put into proper words so I drew what was in my mind.

In case you are not able to connect to the graph, consider this –

a)     Graph represents Value / Worth of different people / aspects. It does not mean his priorities nor his thoughts or actions. (For eg. If a bitter lover seeks him for help at the same time his friend seeks a help, he may or may not help his friend. But the value for his friend in his mind might always be above his bitter lover)

b)    Judge a man by his friends is the rule here. Everything revolves around how he values friendship. Everything is above / below that. If he doesn’t value good friends, the chance is he wouldn’t value you greatly either.

c)     Dislike girls – Normally experienced by guys during their school / college days. Especially when they are not able to handle the selfish mean ones.

d)    Due to graph overcrowding, couldn’t afford to represent few things like – Parents, Religion, Money, Passion, etc

Decipher the rest yourself! Until then - Stay Thirsty! Stay Famished!

To be continued…

Read Part 3 here

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 Bye.

Mopper.

                                               

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